The Kennewick/Sherwood Man

Sherwood Gazette 1995
There's a lot in the newspapers these days about Kennewick Man. His 18,000 year old bones were discovered along the banks of the Columbia River a few years ago. A dispute has arisen over to whom the remains belong. Native Americans claim him as one of theirs. Archeologists claim him for science.

A similar dispute has arisen over some old bones in Sherwood. They were discovered during some minor repair work to the foundation of the building where the Sherwood Lions Club meets. As a result of this archeological find, a dispute has broken out between the Club and the restaurant, each side claiming the remains belong to the other.

As in the Kennewick Man story, DNA testing should solve the question of to whom Sherwood Man belongs. The following bit of code has already been deciphered. Please keep in mind that the translation is still a bit shaky. It will take years of expert analysis to reveal what, if anything, it is trying to say:

...every parent falls into the habit of behaving like the child, and the child like the parent. The father is afraid of his children and they show no fear or respect for their parents. Old people, anxious not to be thought disagreeable, imitate the young and share their jokes and amusements. Likewise, the schoolmaster timidly flatters his students and the pupils make light of their schoolmasters. Students learn to argue with their elders instead of doing as they're told. Citizens everywhere, even strangers from abroad are all on an equal footing. The result is a society that resembles a field of wildflowers, or the pattern of colors and shades on a spangled robe. Horses and donkeys catch the habit of walking down the street with all the dignity of freemen, running into anyone they meet who does not get out of their way. The life of the individual citizen is likewise subject to no order or restraint. Everyone does as he pleases. Every now and then a citizen takes part in politics, leaping to his feet to say or do whatever...."
Copyright 2005 by Clyde List
(Of course the "DNA" sample is from The Republic, where Plato argues that democracy is not a viable system of government. He warns that when the Tyrant "rises above the ground" he always appears as a savior of democracy.)

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